So let me start off by saying that much like
motherhood and life; things don’t always go the way you want them too. Like
take for example my weekend and start to Mother’s Day. One of my favorite
scriptures is in D&C 121:7 – “My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine
adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment…”
My better half has been working weekends and
graves for months now and it is getting tiring and frustrating. So sometimes I just dislike the weekends and one of the things that keeps me going is how grateful I
am when Sunday rolls around and I can spend some quality time with my family
and to ponder, think about, and grow closer to my Heavenly Father and Jesus
Christ. I am grateful for friends who remind me of the positives and that we
are lucky that church starts at 1pm because my husband who although is
exhausted from working and may have only gotten 3-4 hours of sleep; will roll
out of bed to come to church with his loving family.
Yesterday was a busy day filled with haircuts,
errands, soccer games, and just playing outside with my children. When
dinnertime rolled around my sweet little girl started acting funny and decided
she was “too tired for dinner.” I could tell she was a little off and a tad
warm so I gave her some Motrin and after some cuddling with me I put her to
bed.
Mother’s Day has always been pretty emotional
for me. Particularly when Mother’s Day falls on May 8th. Right
before I turned 16 (22 years ago) my sweet maternal grandmother Jacqueline
Blackburn Muir passed away from Breast Cancer on May 8th (Mother’s
Day). I was very close to her so this was extremely hard for me and even more
so for my dear mother. My grandma was one of the most important people in my
life and such a wonderful example to me. I think about her often and sometimes
even talk to her when I am alone.
I am so grateful for this woman because she
blessed me with my own dear mother. I love my mom more than the world and
although like most mother/daughter relationships we have shared our ups and
downs, she has truly been an amazing mother. She has taught me so much and
instilled in me such a love for the gospel and my Heavenly Father. I only hope I can turn out to be half the
mother she was to me.
Mother’s Day was also difficult for me for many years because my husband and I struggled immensely with infertility. For such a
long time I truly thought that I would not be blessed to be able to have my own
children; to the point that attending church on Mother’s Day became tough and
depressing for me. Finally in 2005, after some help with fertility
medication, and many, many, prayers we were blessed with our first baby boy. We then had our second
handsome boy a little over a year and a half later (with some help with
fertility medications). Then right after I received my Bachelor’s degree
from BYU we were pregnant with our sweet little girl. I can’t even describe how grateful
and what a blessing it is to be a mom to these three special children.
Of course despite how rewarding
motherhood can be it can also just be really, really, hard sometimes. Like when
you want to wake up on Mother’s Day to a perfectly clean house, no arguing
children, breakfast already made, and peaceful church music ringing through the
house. Although this has happened many times before it definitely DID NOT happen this year.
LOL.
I was up late working on some Relief Society
stuff so I finally got to bed around 11pm. After finally closing my eyes I was
awakened by a crying toddler at around 11:30. So I dragged myself out of bed
and gave her some Tylenol, went to snuggle her while she requested that I sing
her favorite primary song; “My Heavenly Father Loves Me.” Half asleep I sang to
her, gave her some hugs and kisses, and dragged myself back to bed (I hope I
don’t sound like an insensitive mom that doesn’t want to cuddle their sick
child all night but I am an EXTREMELY light sleeper and all my kids move and
kick ALL night long. If I was going to get any sleep it was back to my bed I
go.) This pattern went on all night long every hour or so. So by 3:30am I was
completely exhausted.
I woke up to three sweet children excited to
show me their Mother’s Day gifts. Their dad had gotten home from work and was
already passed out in bed (although he was sweet and left my gifts on the
counter; complete with 2 dozen red roses, handmade gifts from my children,
sweet cards and a bag filled with Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory caramel
apples and goodies).
So while one of my favorite things is to hear
my children sing in church on Mother’s Day I just couldn’t push aside my
youngest one crying and wanting her mommy to stay home. Grateful for a hubby
who no matter how tired will wake up and take our boys to church. After giving
my sweet girl a hug while she was moaning and crying from not feeling well and
I realized how HOT she really was. It was time for some more Motrin and a cool
bath while eating popsicles. While I sat next to the bathtub completely
exhausted and wishing this day had gone a little differently my sweet little
girl who was laying on her belly in the bathtub turned her head, looked at me
while flipping her little feet in the water and said, “Look mom, I’m a
Mermaid.” My eyes started to well up with tears of gratitude and I thought to
myself; “Happy Imperfect Mother’s Day to me; I wouldn’t change a thing.”
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